Written By: Kryta Ngu
Edited By: Claire Xin
Answers
The first time I’d ever seen a transgender guy was in church. My grandma had told me that he wanted to be a guy. I was 11 years old, and I replied, “Good for him!” Then my grandma started talking, “It’s wrong.”
I’m nonbinary and I use he/they. Someone called me a guy because “You use he, so you’re a guy.” Then, he proceeded to call me a “he/they”. I had to explain to him how he was wrong and hurtful, and he understood.
“How can you change your gender but not your race?” someone asked. Gender is part of your identity and what you feel best with identifying as; it’s on you. Your race is not something you can change, because it’s determined by a factor that isn’t related to your personal identity.
“You’re only one person, not multiple,” he said to me. But “they” can still address one person. “They are my friend,” and “they like to write” are everyday examples commonly used when the subject’s identity is unknown.
A good step to people being understanding is educating them on the topic. People can see it as a joke, but people can be extremely hurt by a simple “joke”.
I can’t speak for the whole trans community, but as someone who is nonbinary, a good place to start in creating a safe space for trans people can be just a simple introduction with pronouns. “Hi, I’m Kryta, and I use he/they.” You don’t need to be trans to introduce yourself with pronouns or a preferred name.
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